3 Sports I'm Terrible At

Before I invite you to laugh at my sporting misfortune, I have 5 good things to tell you.

 

1. I LOVE Graze. I'm on my fourth box and life is fabulous.
2. My boyfriend is coming to England all summer. Cue fierce badminton matches.
3. We went to the National Gallery on Tuesday and I saw my favourite painting, "The Execution of Lady Jane Grey" by Paul Delaroche. It's still in room 41.
4. I had my first show jumping lesson last Friday. Biff and I haven't jumped for months, so it was super fun. Although, I did manage to pull a few muscles in my back. Ouch :(
5. Despite putting on 4kg, I still fit a Miss Selfridge size 6 top. Ha ha haaaaa. But seriously, those 4kg better be gone by July because I have a wedding to attend and I will fit into my dress which I bought last summer and spent £79 on.
6. So I have six good things to tell you, but then I did an English degree (which I officially finished on 17th May) and not Maths. Tonight, boyf, my friends and I went to Mildred's, a vegetarian and vegan restaurant, and Leona Lewis was sat diagonal to me. She's pretty. This isn't an especially good thing, and not surprising given she's vegetarian, I just wanted to play celeb spot like they do in Heat magazine.
7. By six good things I meant seven. I have a new godchild, as of 17th May.

 

On to the main event. Or mane event, given how much I love horses.

I was never sporty at school. I hated P.E, except for a select two sports: swimming and rounders. But I have partaken in a fair few different sporting activities. Here is a list of my worst achievements:

 

1. I think we can all agree that I am awful at cycling. AWFUL. I will post a video one day (lies) of just how bad I am. I just don't understand why people enjoy this sport. Maybe it's my lack of balance. Maybe it's a mild fear of the humble bicycle. Maybe it's the fact the last time I cycled I embarrassed myself. I don't know, but I have always been a terrible cycler; I used to cycle up and down the road at my old house, but when I got to the end I didn't know how to turn around, so I used to get off, move the bike, get back on, and cycle to the other end. I also remember being told how easy it is to cycle no-handed by my brother and his friend, and when I tried it, I fell of instantly. Then, walking injured back to the house, I stood on a thorn. Stupid bicycles.

 

2. Given I'm not terrible at badminton, I'm really bad at tennis. What do you mean over the net? I like to hit it over the walls of the court, let alone over the net. Or sometimes, if the ball is coming at me at speed, I like to just hit at it, so no one really knows where it will end up. Or I treat it like a badminton shuttlecock, so it still doesn't go over the net, but smashes on the ground. Stupid tennis.

 

3. I haven't played football for years, but when I was in France, I tried kicking some balls into the goal. Missed all but one and it hurt my foot. When I was younger, I could never manoeuvre the ball, so I would just kick it in straight lines. A football player I do not make. 

 

This list was originally going to be 5 Sports I'm Terrible At, but I have definitely become more sporty since school and so many of the sports I was terrible at (except tennis) was probably the result of a complete lack of effort on my part.

 

xxx