Dressage Competition: 11.10.14

I'm sorry I've been so absent little bloggy... I've been super busy on the work and study front. By the end of November things will be much less busy as I'll have finished my CELTA. 
Last Saturday, Ernest and I went to a dressage competition at the same venue as the 20th September - thankfully, it didn't rain, even though it poured on the Friday night. 
Due to a complete mess up of sending me my times, I had to do Novice 30 first. My mistake was not looking at the tests until Friday, when I realised how many canter moves I had to do: change leg across the diagonal, medium, walk to canter. Not in that order. While our schooling session was good, I should have practiced these moves more, and earlier, than the evening before.
It was frustrating because Ernest and I had a successful warm-up, and he was going beautifully, but in the test he just seemed to lose all energy. I then began to ride like a flappy child, losing my composure as I tried to push him on and keep him in a contact at the same time. Overall, I came out feeling irritated and baffled. 
I had an egg on my face, as I acted, quite frankly, like a bit of a twat. I was really annoyed because I felt the test was rubbish and I rode badly and I didn't understand why Ernest wasn't going anywhere. Then, after watching the video, it really wasn't that bad - although I was right about the flappyflapflap. We got 59.62%, which I was happy with as there was plenty to work on. And, after my terrible attitude, I didn't really deserve higher, although Ernest did. I feel a bit ashamed even now. 
So, I got back on for Prelim 19 - the most popular Prelim of all time, according to every time I've entered it and there's been 5000 other people in the class - with a better attitude after apologising for being an idiot. We had another lovely warm-up, and rode a pleasing test. For this, we got 65.45%.
No rosettes this time, but a healthy reminder to not behave like a spoilt butthead when things don't go to plan. Ernest will be getting clipped before our next dressage outing at the end of November, which will make things more comfortable for him as he gets so hot in his excessively fluffy winter coat.
We're hoping to go showjumping tomorrow with some friends from the yard - it's not a competition, just a chance to practice jumping a course. Ernest has a busier social life than me! Since 20th September, he's done two dressage competitions, a sponsored ride, and, if tomorrow goes ahead, a showjumping event!

Body Fat Update: prepare for misery

Let's cut straight to it. I've put on 3% body fat, from 19.64% in April to 22.75% in July. I don't think I need to express how upset and frustrated I am with myself.
As a blogger who blee-blah-bloos on about fitness and riding and weight training and running etc, I feel like a huge hypocrite for clearly not practicing what I preach. By the same token, I'm human, I've been feeding my gluttonous mouthhole too many treats, and I now need to be honest about this gain.
You do lose muscle when doing excessive amounts of cardio - however, when training for the half marathon in 2012, I was running 2-3 times a week and only weightlifting once a week. I distinctly remember this caused a 3% drop in body fat. There's no way I'm running enough (yet) to be burning up my muscle, so the only thing left to consider is my diet.
I very recently cut down the amount of treats I have on treat day, as this was causing multiple IBS reactions and, quite frankly, the day was becoming a giant binge. I am strict with what I consider a treat, so I wouldn't have a chocolate biscuit and say I ate 100% clean that day (I also wouldn't eat only one biscuit, so bad example), but I've gradually been having less and less clean days. 
The reason I'm writing this post is because I want people to see the truth - I am slim, fit, healthy, but I also don't achieve my goals all the time. My motivation isn't always 100%. I follow fitness models and athletes for inspiration, but sometimes this is a bad thing as I'm aspiring to look a certain way when these people are sponsored and paid to look like that. It's their career, not just their hobby. I love running and weightlifting, but Ernest will always be my priority. I want people to read my blog and know that, even though I'm a fitness fan, I do know what it's like to think: "F the diet, I want f'ing ice cream and cake and chocolate and cheese and I don't want to work it off after!!!!"
That said, I have a goal I want to achieve. My next BF check is at the beginning of September, so my bestest bf Becky has set me up with a challenge - I have to get to 21% and she has to lose 7lbs. The figure 21% was agreed by Maxx, who wanted it to be sensible and attainable. 
Here's my proactive plan to get my BF back down:

• No treat days until my birthday, then no treat days unless special occasions. I have a clean eating cookbook now so can cook clean treats if I crave sweet things.
• Stop squishing my squishy bits because a) it makes Maxx sad and b) it makes me feel bad about myself. I struggle with my body anyway, but this just makes it worse.
• Prioritise - I can't weightlift, see Ernest, work, work in the evenings, train for a half marathon, and fit in enough sleep. I'm pushing myself to breaking point but, at nearly 24, I need to learn to rest properly. Running needs to come before weightlifting, and I need to get serious about my training. I'm not doing 13.1 miles because it's easy, after all.

Special thanks to Becky and Maxx and The Smiling Assassin for being kind when I was super upset yesterday.